We've heard it said that unless we're in love, we can't remember what love feels like. The same could be said of insanity: Once we're freed of it, we may forget how truly bizarre our insane thinking can be. But to be grateful for the degree of sanity to which we've been restored in Narcotics Anonymous, we need to remember just how truly insane we've been.

Today, it may be hard to imagine saying something as ridiculous as, "May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident?" No one in their right mind is going to ask for such things. And that's the point. In our active addiction, we were not in our right mind. Each day we practiced our addiction, we courted fatal disease, degradation, exploitation, impoverishment, imprisonment, death by violence, even death by sheer stupidity. In that context, the idea of asking for a heart attack or a fatal accident doesn't sound all that far out. That's how insane we've been.

The program, the fellowship, and our Higher power-together, they've worked a miracle. The Second Step is not a vain hope-it is reality. Knowing the degree of the insanity we've experienced, we can appreciate all the more the miraculous Power that has restored us thus far to sanity. For that, we are truly grateful.

So many of us have had the experience of calling our sponsor to complain about that terrible person at work or that loathsome family member or that insufferable fool at the area service committee meeting. If not for them, how peaceful and pleasant our lives would be! Our patient and loving sponsor gently asks, "Have you prayed for them?" So clichéd!

Of course, sponsors tend to speak from experience—they know that when we pray for the people who bother us, we are often the ones who change. Sure, sometimes people around us do become more tolerable; people grow and change all the time—even insufferable fools. But when we pray for the people who bother us, we increase our own tolerance and compassion.

While everyone in the world has room for growth, tolerance is a much surer way for us to experience peace and harmony than simply waiting for those around us to get better. Some people will take a long time to change; others may never improve at all. If those around us aren't going to become more tolerable, our best solution may simply be to become more tolerant. This doesn't mean accepting unacceptable behavior; we still set healthy boundaries as appropriate. Our sponsor can help us sort out the tolerable from the unacceptable. We remind ourselves that we don't need to be friends with everyone—we just need to be able to play nice with others when we're at work, at family gatherings, and at service committee meetings.