There's an old saying we sometimes hear in our meetings: "If you want to make God laugh, make plans." When we hear this we usually laugh, too, but there's a nervous edge to our laughter. We wonder if all of our carefully laid plans are doomed to fail. If we're planning a big event-a wedding, a return to school, or perhaps a career change-we begin to wonder if our plans are the same as our Higher Power's plans. We are capable of working ourselves into such a frenzy of worry over this question that we refuse to make any plans at all.

But the simple fact is that we really don't know whether our Higher Power's plans for our lives are carved in stone or not. Most of us have opinions about fate and destiny but, whether we believe in such theories or not, we still have a responsibility to live our lives and make plans for the future. If we refuse to accept responsibility for our lives, we're still making plans-plans for a shallow, boring existence.

What we make in recovery are plans, not results. We'll never know whether the marriage, the education, or the new job is going to work out until we try it. We simply exercise our best judgment, check with our sponsor, pray, use all the information at hand, and make the most reasonable plans we can. For the rest, we trust in the loving care of the God of our understanding, knowing that we've acted responsibly.

Few of us come into Narcotics Anonymous with effective social skills; we often acquire them by trial and error—mostly error. When we unintentionally mistreat others, we feel terrible and become teachable. The good news is that some of our best lessons come from our mistakes. We call our sponsors, tell on ourselves, figure out our part, and determine better ways to handle similar situations in the future.

We are at our best when kindness inspires our words and actions. When kindness is a priority, we're more likely to be supportive, and that helps us grow as individuals and as NA groups. Naturally, it's easier to be kind to those we love. But we don't have to open our homes and share holiday dinners to honor our mutual stake in Narcotics Anonymous.

Being a home-group member challenges us to practice kindness with folks who aren't in our immediate circle. Our investment in the well-being of NA is more important than our personal feelings about any specific member. We put the welfare of the group first and treat all of our fellows with respect regardless of baggage or bitterness. Friendship is not a prerequisite for kindness. Rather, we are kind in order to foster unity within the group and to support personal recovery—our own and that of our fellow members.

The simplest gesture of kindness can make a world of difference when we are feeling stuck. "I was isolating and thinking about using. I got a text from a fellow home-group member who asked if I was going to the meeting. It was just the push I needed," a member shared.

Our actions have a profound effect on others as well as an impact on our self-image. By choosing kindness, we improve ourselves as we contribute to NA unity. Our actions make NA meetings safe and respectful places for personal growth. The way we treat each other and our groups is a reflection of how we put "we" before "me."