All of us had expectations about life in recovery. Some of us thought recovery would suddenly make us employable or able to do anything in the world we wanted to do. Or maybe we imagined perfect ease in our interactions with others. When we stop and think, we realize that we expected recovery would make us perfect. We didn't expect to continue making many mistakes. But we do. That's not the addict side of us showing through; that's being human.

In Narcotics Anonymous we strive for recovery, not perfection. The only promise we are given is freedom from active addiction. Perfection is not an attainable state for human beings; it's not a realistic goal. What we often seek in perfection is freedom from the discomfort of making mistakes. In return for that freedom from discomfort, we trade our curiosity, our flexibility, and the room to grow.

We can consider the trade: Do we want to live the rest of our lives in our well-defined little world, safe but perhaps stifled? Or do we wish to venture out into the unknown, take a risk, and reach for everything life has to offer?

Life can be an emotional roller coaster. Before we found recovery, we could exit the ride by getting high. With that option off the table—just for today—it's up to us to find ways to handle life's ups and downs, twists and turns. "If I'm going to ride this roller coaster called life," a member shared, "I want to be one of those screaming, giggling fools in the front car. They are truly in the moment."

We learn the usefulness of living in today in early recovery. One oldtimer put it bluntly: "If you've got one foot in the past and one in the future, you're pissing all over today." Truly being in the moment is some next-level stuff, and few of us have regular access to an actual roller coaster to practice that mindset.

Fortunately, we have an Eleventh Step that encourages us to give prayer and meditation a try. Practicing some form of meditation can help us to let our feelings come and go like waves on the beach. Practice pays off, and it becomes easier to roll with the punches when we're a little less attached to our emotions.

We learn to be fully feeling human beings and to be all right with that. More often than not, we can be attentive to our emotional lives and not want to check out. One member shared, "Finding even a minute or two to slow down and breathe can drastically improve my emotional well-being." As we weave meditation into our recovery repertoire, emotional balance feels increasingly attainable.