Many of us came into recovery with no experience in prayer and worried about not knowing the "right words." Some of us remembered the words we'd learned in childhood but weren't sure we believed in those words anymore. Whatever our background, in recovery we struggled to find words that spoke truly from our hearts.

Often the first prayer we attempt Is a simple request to our Higher Power asking for help in staying clean each day. We may ask for guidance and courage or simply pray for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. If we find ourselves stumbling in our prayers, we may ask other members to share with us about how they learned to pray. No matter whether we pray in need or pray in joy, the important thing is to keep making the effort.

Our prayers will be shaped by our experience with the Twelve Steps and our personal understanding of a Higher Power. As our relationship with that Higher Power develops, we become more comfortable with prayer. In time, prayer becomes a source of strength and comfort. We seek that source often and willingly.

At first glance, this quote may sound like a riddle, but our experience validates its wisdom. Hoping to be forgiven is only human. Despite advice to the contrary, we sometimes harbor expectations about how amends should be received. We have ideas about how and when we'll be forgiven. We anticipate the relief it will bring—only to be disappointed at times.

Given the harm we've caused, it's understandable that some people may not be quick to forgive us. It hurts nonetheless. The conventional wisdom that "expectations are just premature resentments" makes even more sense to us now. Regardless of how our amends were received, we do our best to clean up our side of the street and let go of any ill will.

We take ownership of the damage we've caused and earnestly make an effort to compensate for our wrongs and change our behavior. We release those expectations we had about receiving forgiveness, let go of any hard feelings we set ourselves up for, and— with time—find forgiveness for ourselves and those who were unable to forgive us. Letting all of that go frees up a lot of headspace and energy.

We're not as attached to how our formal amends were or were not received; we've done the work to make things right whether or not others recognize it. Our actions lead us to a deeper level of self-acceptance—who we were then and who we are now. We can focus our energy on becoming the best version of ourselves by continuing to work the Twelve Steps.