From time to time, we all experience conflicts. It may be that we just can't get along with that new co-worker. Maybe our friends are driving us crazy. Or perhaps our partner isn't living up to our expectations. Dealing with any conflict is difficult for recovering addicts.

When tempers rise, it is often a good idea to back away from the situation until cooler minds prevail. We can always return to further discussion when we have calmed down. We can't avoid troubling situations, but we can use time and distance to find perspective.

Conflict is a part of life. We can't go through our entire recovery without encountering disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes we can back away from these situations, taking time to reflect on them, but there always comes a time when conflict must be resolved. When that time comes, we take a deep breath, say a prayer, and apply the principles our program has given us: honesty, openness, responsibility, forgiveness, trust, and all the rest. We didn't get clean to keep running from life - and in recovery, we don't have to run anymore.

We addicts can be pretty creative in how we deliver our simple message of recovery. We're free to develop all kinds of meetings that focus on particular areas of recovery or literature, at any time of day. Autonomy gives us leeway to establish a meeting that addresses an unmet local need, has a unique format, or targets a particular group of addicts who may feel safer accessing and delivering our primary purpose together. The possibilities are endless as our Fellowship continues to evolve, strengthen, and reach an even wider geographic scope. How inspiring!

But let's not forget the latter half of Tradition Four: ". . . except in matters affecting other groups or NA as a whole." This warns of the pitfalls of using autonomy to divide us.

Expressing complaints about important issues, such as finances, area guidelines, and Traditions "violations," and then declining to be part of the solution is unproductive and creates disunity. Autonomy is not a mic drop. Instead, we can choose to examine our urge to raise an issue, asking ourselves if we want a solution or just want to make a statement.

Open-minded communication allows us to make reality-based decisions, unencumbered by personal opinions. Some members think service bodies have undue power over groups, and others may believe that all NA decisions must be made with group buy-in. We hear a lot about what they are doing. But WE are they. With autonomy comes responsibility: as seen on NA buttons and T-shirts, "Be the we!" In reality, we are accountable to each other, to NA as a whole, and to communicating our disagreements, as well as our message, with as much respect as we can muster.