Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say.

But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit.

When those we love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could.

Admitting powerlessness over our addiction is often the first time we surrender to anything. Never mind the fact that we used to surrender to the drugs every day! Many of us had tried to clean up on our own, without success. We couldn't control our using, so what makes us think we can control our recovery?

We experience one of the greatest paradoxes in NA when we let go of our attempts to control the recovery process and find peace and freedom as a result. One member shared, "Surrender is like learning how to float in water, instead of thrashing about. It's a process of letting go."

We can surrender quietly to this new way of life and allow the experience of other addicts to guide our next steps. There is a sense of relief that accompanies surrender, a peace in powerlessness. Giving up our illusions of self-control frees us to become better versions of ourselves.

And, in NA, we don't have to walk this journey alone. We ask for help when we need it. Sometimes that's the hardest thing we do, but it gets easier with practice. We learn to surrender our old ideas, listen to suggestions, consult a Higher Power, and make up our minds about what course of action we need to take. We do the footwork, let go of the outcome, and move on—confident that surrender will help us accept whatever unfolds.