Having relationships without barriers, ones in which we can be entirely open with our feelings, is something many of us desire. At the same time, the possibility of such intimacy causes us more fear than almost any other situation in life.

If we examine what frightens us, we'll usually find that we are attempting to hide an aspect of our personalities that we are ashamed of, an aspect we sometimes haven't even admitted to ourselves. We don't want others to know of our insecurities, our pain, or our neediness, so we simply refuse to expose them. We may imagine that if no one knows about our imperfections, those imperfections will cease to exist.

This is the point where our relationships stop. Anyone who enters our lives will not get past the point at which our secrets begin. To maintain intimacy in a relationship, it is essential that we acknowledge our defects and accept them. When we do, the fortress of denial, erected to keep these things hidden, will come crashing down, enabling us to build up our relationships with others.

Railroading newcomers into service is an age-old tradition in NA. We do it with love, remembering our own reluctance to volunteer, and with gratitude for what early service opportunities gave us. We complied back then since the people suggesting that we make coffee, set out literature, or greet people at the door were clean, after all. We trusted that they knew a thing or two, so we surrendered to doing as they suggested.

Years later, we're the ones nominating newcomers for those same lifesaving commitments. By then, we recognize that some of the benefits we derive from service come from practicing love and generosity. Service often gives us our first sustained exposure to the good feelings that come with giving of ourselves. As we support other members, meetings, and service bodies—and rope others into doing the same—our generosity is evident in our contributions.

Longtime members assure us that this is no accident. Generously serving each other and NA develops our capacity; we grow as human beings, and NA grows as a Fellowship. We open doors for others to practice generosity; in turn, they reach out to bring others along. An interlinked series of relationships define the history of almost every NA community.

We are the direct beneficiaries of our predecessors' vision and generosity. And yet, the names of those still with us might not come to mind when we need to recruit panelists for H&I, hosts for the convention's hospitality room, or facilitators for the newcomer orientation. We may assume that our most seasoned members are above such tasks or that they'd volunteer if they were interested. One member had this to say: "I've grown old in NA—which beats the alternative—but I'm not as plugged into what's happening in NA beyond my home group and sponsees. My phone doesn't ring like it used to. But I'll tell you this: Being asked to help never gets old. I still have more to give."