A challenge is anything that dares us to succeed. Things new and unfamiliar serve as challenges, whether those things appear good or bad to us. We are challenged by obstacles and opposition from within ourselves and from without. New and difficult things, obstacles and opposition, all are a part of "life on life's terms." Living clean means learning to meet challenges.

Many of us, consciously or unconsciously, took drugs to avoid meeting challenge. Many of us were equally afraid of failure and success. Each time we declined the day's challenge, we suffered a loss of self-esteem. Some of us used drugs to mask the shame we felt. Each time we did that, we became even less able to meet our challenges and more likely to use.

By working the NA program, we've found the tools we need to successfully meet any challenge. We've come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, a Power that cares for our will and our lives. We've asked that Power to remove our character defects, those things that made our lives unmanageable. We've taken action to improve our conscious contact with that Higher Power. Through the steps, we've been given the ability to stop using drugs and start living.

Each day, we are faced with new challenges. And each day, through working our program of recovery, we are given the grace to meet those challenges.

Most of us think of having integrity as being honest and reliable, as keeping our word. While that's certainly true, integrity has a deeper and more nuanced meaning we don't always consider: being whole, being wholly ourselves, being our whole selves at any given moment, no matter whose presence we're in.

As active addicts, we often demonstrated a lack of integrity. We weren't dependable, trustworthy, or responsible, and we weren't whole. We omitted parts of the truth and parts of ourselves. "I was like a three-legged table," a member joked. "Yeah, I could stand, but don't try leaning on me."

We compartmentalized our existence: We behaved in certain ways with some but not with others, and we led double—sometimes multiple—lives. These ways of being can follow us into recovery. How we act and appear on the outside doesn't always match who we really are—or strive to be—on the inside. A member put it like this: "Today, I know I'm out of alignment with my values when my emotions reflect my defects—like fear and judgment— and I act on them. Instead, I try to show up as honestly and entirely 'me' as possible. That includes the 'ideal me' I want to be in relationships and interactions."

It's unlikely our feelings will "match up" with our ideals and values all the time. This friction can be productive; we learn to take actions of love even when we don't necessarily feel the love. For instance, we can treat a member we don't like with kindness and respect. We can serve right alongside someone even if we sometimes fantasize about pushing them into a swamp full of alligators. Other times, our feelings are less reactive; they match our conscience rather than our defects. In those cases, it may be necessary and right to address someone's behavior. Integrity guides our decisions and how we express ourselves in those moments. It allows us to risk others' disappointment and anger. That's being true to ourselves. That's honesty and reliability. That's love.