"Any lengths?" newcomers ask. "What do you mean, any lengths?" Looking back at our active addiction and the lengths we were willing to go to in order to stay high can help to explain. Were we willing to drive many miles to get drugs? Yes, we usually were. Then it makes sense that, if we are as concerned about staying clean as we were about using, we will try anything to find a ride to a meeting.

In our addiction, didn't we often do crazy, insane things or use unknown substances at the direction of others? Then why do we often find it so hard to take direction in recovery, especially when the direction is designed to help us grow? And when we used, didn't we often, in desperation, turn to our Higher Power, saying, "Please, just get me out of this one!" Then why do we find it so hard to ask for God's help in our recovery?

When we used, we usually had an open mind when it came to finding ways and means to get more drugs. If we can apply this same principle of open-mindedness to our recovery, we may surprise ourselves by how easily we begin to grasp the NA program. Our best thinking, it is often said, got us into the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. If we are willing to go to any lengths, follow directions, and stay open-minded, we can stay clean.

"I'm so grateful for the life I have, thanks to NA." The speaker was then quiet for a moment, wiping away tears, before continuing: "Grateful for my sponsor and the Steps . . . and even for the bad stuff that's happened along the way."

For someone who's new, witnessing gratitude from a member for "bad stuff" can sound illogical, overly virtuous, impossible, even undesirable. Why on earth should we be grateful for our addiction, our mistakes, and our poor decision making? Do we really have to feel grateful for pain and loss to recover in NA?

Reframing our past hardships or current challenges with a deep awareness of gratitude is not an easy path, nor is it a quick one. For one thing, we rarely, if ever, start our journey in recovery with a clear and broad perspective on our lives. This doesn't happen just from being abstinent and going to a few meetings—and talking about being grateful. It requires effort, a lot of it. We do our stepwork thoroughly. We develop and learn to rely on a power greater than ourselves. We try to apply spiritual principles in all our relationships. We work on forgiving others and ourselves. We make amends for our mistakes and find compassion for ourselves when we mess up again. We consistently surrender in the face of new adversity and strive to find the lesson in it.

"My flaws and mistakes are part of what makes me who I am today," the speaker continued. "They are what inspire me to work to be a better person. My ability to get through some of the worst times in my life—bruised and battered but still clean—is a huge gift. I am grateful for this life."

Gratitude is not a destination. It's an awareness and a process. Though we recovering addicts don't feel grateful all the time, there are times when we do feel it deeply. When we're feeling ungrateful, we've learned what to do: help another person on their journey in recovery.