All human beings struggle with self-centeredness. The chronic self-centeredness that lies at the very core of addiction makes that struggle doubly difficult for people like us. Many of us have lived as if we believed we were the last people on earth, utterly blind to the effect our behavior has had on those around us.

The Eighth Step is the process our program has given us to honestly examine our past relationships. We take a look at the writing we did on our Fourth Step to identify the effects our actions had on the people in our lives. When we recognize harm done to some of those people, we become willing to take responsibility for our actions by making amends to them.

The variety of people we encounter in our day and the quality of our relations with them determines, to a great extent, the quality of our very lives. Love, humor, excitement, caring-the things that make life worth living derive much of their meaning from being shared with others. Understanding this, we want to discover the true nature of our relationships with other people and mend whatever breaks we may find in those relations. We want to work the Eighth Step.

Being committed is more than just doing something over and over or showing up when and where we said we would. Commitment involves a conscious decision. We consider what we need or want, what we think is right, and what we are willing to devote our resources to.

We take the time to think about benefits and drawbacks, time and energy required, other existing obligations, and whether we are willing to be willing when our enthusiasm goes away.

Our past experiences with phrases like "going to any lengths" and "no matter what" were quite different from commitment in a healthy, spiritual practice. Even in recovery, we remain compulsive. As creatures of habit, we may find ourselves repeating behaviors even when we don't want to. This can show up in our commitments. We keep a commitment out of habit or because no one else has stepped up. We commit impulsively and then back out just as impulsively. Or we stick to an unwanted commitment, resenting ourselves and the commitment from start to finish. In time, we learn a healthier approach.

The daily inventory of Step Ten can improve our ability to make and keep commitments. Reflecting on our lives each day teaches us a great deal about ourselves, including the types of commitments to which we are and are not well suited. Regular inventory helps us become more disciplined and self-aware, and we experience further relief from defects and shortcomings. We grow, and our commitments become deeper and more meaningful as a result.