We arrived in NA at the lowest point in our lives. We'd just about run out of ideas. What we needed most when we got here were new ideas, new ways of living, shared from the experience of people who'd seen those ideas work. Yet our closed minds prevented us from taking in the very ideas we needed to live.

Denial keeps us from appreciating just how badly we really need new ideas and new direction. By admitting our powerlessness and recognizing how truly unmanageable our lives have become, we allow ourselves to see how much we need what NA has to offer.

Self-dependence and self-will can keep us from admitting even the possibility of the existence of a Power greater than ourselves. However, when we admit the sorry state self-will has gotten us into, we open our eyes and our minds to new possibilities. When others tell us of a Power that has brought sanity to their lives, we begin to believe that such a Power may do the same for us.

A tree stripped of its branches will die unless new branches can be grafted onto its trunk. In the same way, addiction stripped us' of whatever direction we had. To grow or even to survive, we must open our minds and allow new ideas to be grafted onto our lives.

Before coming to NA, many of us were clueless about our own needs, much less the needs of others. We may have rejected the whole idea of needing help, needing other people, or having needy people in our lives. Identifying our needs—beyond the next fix—would require introspection. Looking within sounded frightening. There be dragons, as the ancients labeled unmapped territory. Others of us sensed a void inside, a deep well of vague longing. We clung to the few people left in our lives, hoping for love but settling for sex.

Recovery invites us to rejoin the human race. We learn to articulate what we think, how we feel, and what we need. Being part of an NA community that looks out for one another is a real asset to our lives. The give-and-take of kindness knits together our social networks, in and out of the rooms. We benefit from others' kindness and revel in the good feelings we get from giving back. It reinforces our humanity and our humility as we recognize that we're no better and no worse than our fellows. "Just another addict doing my best to stay clean and do better," as one member put it.

A focus on practicing kindness contributes to the "better perspective on life" we strive for, just for today. Opportunities to help come into view more readily when we're endeavoring to be kind. As one member wrote, "Giving up my seat to an elderly bus rider freed me, momentarily, from my prison of self-concern. When I want to feel good, kindness ain't a

bad hustle." We become the good neighbor who shovels more than their fair share of snow, the parent who bakes enough cupcakes for the whole class, the houseguest who insists on washing dishes, or the coworker who restocks the community candy bowl.

If we can shake some old ideas about independence and self-reliance, we can practice kindness even as we ask for help. We know the good feeling of helping others; to need help and not ask for it seems almost selfish. We humble ourselves, ask for what we need, and open the door to letting others be kind.