Nothing isolates us more quickly from the warmth and camaraderie of our fellow NA members than having to be "right." Insecure, we pretend to be some kind of authority figure. Suffering from low self-esteem, we try to build ourselves up by putting others down. At best, such tactics push others away from us; at worst, they draw attack. The more we try to impress others with how "right" we are, the more wrong we become.

We don't have to be "right" to be secure; we don't have to pretend to have all the answers for others to love or respect us. In fact, just the opposite is true. None of us have all the answers. We depend upon one another to help bridge the gaps in our understanding of things, and we depend upon a Power greater than our own to make up for our personal powerlessness. We live easily with others when we offer what we know, admit what we don't, and seek to learn from our peers. We live securely in ourselves when we cease relying on our own power and start relying on the God we've come to understand in recovery.

We don't have to be "right" all the time, just recovering.

When we first come into recovery, we may think everyone in the room is lying. A member recalled thinking, "They can't possibly be that happy . . . and really, no one can stay clean for 30 years, let alone 30 days in a row." We may even tell ourselves there is no way we can stop using and have a fulfilling life. Despite our internal monologue, we continue showing up to meetings and putting some cleantime together. We take suggestions, pick up a commitment, get a sponsor, and begin working Steps—all the while thinking, This won't work for me. We do our best to ignore that devious little voice inside us. After all, what we have been doing up to this point hasn't really been working either.

As we take these practical actions, the heaviness lifts from our hearts. We experience moments of joy and freedom—clean. We realize that we have been doing all of the things we'd told ourselves were not possible. Now we have six months clean and our lives are so much fuller than we thought they could be. When we share in meetings, we realize that we've become those people who we thought were lying to us.

One of the most practical things we do is to show up and tell the truth about our lives. When we no longer need to fabricate stories and justifications, it frees up a lot of mental energy. We share our victories, our process, and our mess as they are happening. While the disease still talks to us, nowadays our recovery also chimes in to remind us that we're right where we're supposed to be.

Doing the footwork frees us to live in the present. We have a solid foundation and a network of connections in our recovery community. Our world has become fuller and more fulfilling. We have found a family in Narcotics Anonymous. We want more of these gifts, so we continue to put one foot in front of the other, doing the things that brought us to this point.