God's love is the transforming power that drives our recovery. With that love, we find freedom from the hopeless, desperate cycle of using, self-hatred, and more using. With that love, we gain a sense of reason and purpose in our once purposeless lives. With that love, we are given the inner direction and strength we need to begin a new way of life: the NA way. With that love, we begin to see things differently, as if with new eyes.

As we examine our lives through the eyes of love, we make what may be a startling discovery: The loving God we've so recently come to understand has always been with us and has always loved us. We recall the times when we asked for the aid of a Higher Power and were given it. We even recall times when we didn't ask for such help, yet were given it anyway. We realize that a loving Higher Power has cared for us all along, preserving our lives till the day when we could accept that love for ourselves.

The Power of love has been with us all along. Today, we are grateful to have survived long enough to become consciously aware of that love's presence in our world and our lives. Its vitality floods our very being, guiding our recovery and showing us how to live.

Working an NA program uncovers a considerable need for self-acceptance, and slowly we proceed on that journey. Our work also reveals that the people who get under our skin the most are among our greatest teachers. Just like us, they deserve our acceptance and empathy. There's a reciprocal relationship between self-acceptance and tolerating others who bug us. We learn this from the harsh truth that we often share some very similar traits with those very same people. As we extend grace and dignity to other flawed people in our lives, we often find it easier to treat our less-than-perfect selves with the same compassion.

But then how is tolerance a spiritual principle? Shouldn't we just be unconditionally loving and accepting of everyone? "Earlier in my recovery," a member remarked, "I rejected tolerance as a spiritual principle because when I practiced it toward the person who was driving me nuts, there was nothing spiritual going on in my head. I wanted to go right to acceptance . . . or scratch their eyes out. But now I see it as an act of love."

"Tolerance, in my mind," another member responded, "is like a gateway spiritual principle. It's a layover on a multistop flight on the way to your final destination: acceptance."

"Or it's an appetizer principle," a third member joked. "You have it first, to tide you over before the empathy entrée. And maybe unconditional love is dessert."

No matter how we slice it, tolerance helps us combat unrealistic expectations we place on others' behavior and our own spiritual condition. Whether we practice it with an open heart or through gritted teeth, it helps prevent us from acting out in fear or anger or expressing our impatience with others who may not be as far along in their journey as we believe we are.