How do we pray? For each NA member, this is a deeply personal matter. Many of us find that, over time, we develop a manner of prayer and meditation based on what we learn from others and what we are comfortable with.

Some of us arrive in NA with a closed mind toward a Power greater than ourselves. But when we sit down with our sponsor and discuss our difficulty, looking at the Second Step in depth, we are pleased to find that we can choose any concept of a Higher Power that appeals to us.

Just as our definition of a Power greater than ourselves differs from addict to addict, so does our manner of achieving a "conscious contact." Some attend religious services; some chant; some sit quietly or talk with whatever is out there; some find a spiritual connection by communing with nature. The "right way" to pray and meditate is whatever way helps us improve our conscious contact with our own Higher Power.

Asking others how they found their spiritual guidance is always a good place to begin. Reading literature before we enter periods of meditation can also help us. Many have gone before us on this search. As we seek spiritual growth, we can greatly benefit from their experience.

In recovery, when our lives get "bigger," our already questionable attention span is pulled in many different directions. We have our NA life, and we balance it with work life, school life, home life, family life, sex life, and more. On top of that, we are now able to address the consequences of our using: improving our health, dealing with legal issues, making amends. And many of us are also pursuing other interests and goals that bring us joy. Through using the tools of the NA program, including prayer and meditation, we can maintain a manageable balance of all the above. We're living by spiritual principles as much as

humanly possible. We're sincerely grateful more often than we aren't. What could possibly go wrong?

Sometimes it's a truly life-altering event that will throw us off balance. Or maybe we make a mistake we can't run from, or we don't achieve something we've worked hard for and feel we deserve. Other times, if it's only that we spill a glass of water, we'll want to smash the glass and drown ourselves in the water.

Seeking balance—both in terms of our inner life and how we spend our time—is an ongoing negotiation. Reacting in extremes to our mistakes or to what we can't control will wear us out and make us vulnerable to our disease. Just because we're clean and doing well doesn't mean that life will consistently get better and better without fail. We can be vigilant, but we can't prepare for everything. If we have our program as a base and a constant in our lives, we will have spiritual principles, relationships, and a Higher Power to lean on when life inevitably shows up.

Life is unpredictable and can be chaotic. It's the seeking of balance within the chaos that will help keep us clean and moving forward.