The wealth of our recovery is too good to keep to ourselves. Some of us believe that when we talk in meetings, we should "remember the newcomer" and always try to carry a positive message. But sometimes the most positive message we can carry is that we are going through difficult times in our recovery and are staying clean in spite of them!

Yes, it's gratifying to send out a strong message of hope to our newer members. After all, no one likes a whiner. But distressing things happen, and life on life's terms can send shock waves even through the recovery of long-time members of Narcotics Anonymous. If we are equipped with the tools of the program, we can walk through such turmoil and stay clean to tell the tale.

Recovery doesn't happen all at once; it is an ongoing process, sometimes a struggle. When we dilute the fullness of our message by neglecting to share about the tough times we may walk through on our journey, we fail to allow newcomers the chance to see that they, too, can stay clean, no matter what. If we share the full message of our recovery, we may not know who benefits, but we can be sure someone will.

Pre-NA, many of us flew by the seat of our pants when it came to making choices. Being self-aware and thoughtful of others was as low on the priority list as our impulses would allow. Now we have a chance to be more aware and thoughtful about our decision making and its effect on relationships.

To act thoughtfully, it's a good idea to assess where our thoughts are coming from. And in recovery, we have many assessment tools at our disposal: Are we impulsively heeding our first thought, or a more measured second (or third or fourth) thought that has been supported by taking a moment to breathe? Are we listening to our conscience or our disease? Are we acting out of love or out of fear, for the benefit of our ego or for the benefit of others? For many of us, the metaphorical cliché of "hitting the pause button" works wonders—and can certainly reduce the chances of pressing the other button: the one that blows things up.

Thoughtfulness goes beyond simple awareness. We consider the reality of a situation and who it's affecting besides ourselves, and then we act on the awareness we've gained— especially when we're feeling intolerant or indifferent. Luckily, we also have our sponsor, other NA members, and our Higher Power to consult so that we can determine our motives and discern between rational and irrational actions. We can help each other widen our perspectives and keep us more on a path of kindness, compassion, and goodwill. The more deliberate we can be in the moment, the more thoughtful our actions can be. We can't premeditate outcomes, nor can we completely avoid others being angered or disappointed by us. But at least we can live better with the decisions we make because we know we did our best to be thoughtful.