Rather than risk vulnerability, many of us have developed habits that keep others at a safe distance. These patterns of emotional isolation can give us the feeling we are hopelessly locked behind our masks. We used to take risks with our lives; now we can take risks with our feelings. Through sharing with other addicts, we learn that we are not unique; we do not make ourselves unduly vulnerable simply by letting others know who we are, for we are in good company. And by working the Twelve Steps of the NA program, we grow and change. We no longer want or need to hide our emerging selves. We are offered the opportunity to shed the emotional camouflage we developed to survive our active addiction.

By opening ourselves to others, we risk becoming vulnerable, but that risk is well worth the rewards. With the help of our sponsor and other recovering addicts, we learn how to express our feelings honestly and openly. In turn, we become nourished and encouraged by the unconditional love of our companions. As we practice spiritual principles, we find strength and freedom, both in ourselves and in those around us. We are set free to be ourselves and to enjoy the company of our fellow addicts.

Few of us come to NA with mountains of success practicing intimacy. Often we hear our fellow addicts grumble, "I hate people." Before getting clean, family life was often dysfunctional, to say the least. The deeper we were in our addiction, the shallower our friendships and romantic relationships became. Our drug use, ego, and denial were a trio of airtight barriers that prevented us from connecting with those closest to us. We lacked trust in others and avoided being vulnerable at all costs. The idea of truly being seen by another person was unbearable, even absurd.

Upon getting clean, we may not initially be conscious of a desire for connection with our fellow addicts. We resist the idea of exposing our true selves, but intimacy isn't just about sharing the details of our lives. It can be abandoning our old ideas about people and relationships, even letting go of our definition of what's safe. It can be taking emotional risks when we don't know the outcome. It can be saying what we want from a relationship—to the other person in it with us. It can be tolerating feedback from our loved ones and growing from it. It can be sitting in meetings with a group of recovering addicts and hearing each other's gripes, pleas, desires, and strides. It can be witnessing what makes us human and worthy of love and connection, over and over again. Intimacy is the result of all this.

Intimacy is nothing less than letting go of everything that stops us from being ourselves in front of another person. What's divine in us is what's genuine.