Service work calls for a selfless devotion to carrying the message to the still-suffering addict. But our attitude of service cannot stop there. Service also requires that we look at ourselves and our motives. Our efforts at service make us highly visible to the fellowship. In NA, it is easy to become a "big fish in a little pond." Our controlling attitude can easily drive away the newcomer.

Group conscience is one of the most important principles in service. It is vital to remember that the group conscience is what counts, not just our individual beliefs and desires. We lend our thoughts and beliefs to the development of a group conscience. Then when that conscience arises, we accept its guidance. The key is working with others, not against them. If we remember that we strive together to develop a collective conscience, we will see that all sides have equal merit. When all the discussions are over, all sides will come back together to carry a unified message.

It is often tempting to think that we know what is best for the group. If we remember that it doesn't matter if we get our way, then it is easier to allow service to be the vehicle it is intended to be - a way to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.

Judging from our experiences prior to NA, many of us believed that love only came with conditions. That was often true in our families and in our relationships while using. We were loved as long as we got decent grades, were gainfully employed, looked presentable, or could talk our way out of an arrest. We internalized these messages and berated ourselves for not being good enough. We felt ashamed of our very existence. Many of us turned those feelings of guilt and shame outward. We judged others based on how we felt about ourselves.

Thankfully, working a program allows us to examine and discard much of this damaged thinking. Members' willingness to love and support us without conditions makes that work possible. Their unconditional love helps us to climb out of that pit of despair and self- loathing.

When we begin to work the Twelfth Step, we get to pay that favor forward by giving unconditional love to other suffering addicts. Our self-esteem grows as we do esteemable acts. As one member shared, "After taking a meeting into the local jail every month for a year, I began to believe that maybe I was a good person, worthy of love, too."

Learning to practice unconditional love is a process. The love of other members sustains us along the way. In one member's experience: "If I'd had to wait until I loved myself, I might not have made it." A firm hug outside a meeting, sharing our story at an H&I meeting, giving newcomers rides, even a friendly smile of recognition—we give and receive these acts of love without conditions. And it keeps us coming back.